


What do you want?

by Mirisan85



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Clarke, Clarke/Lexa romance, Clexa, Clexa Relationship, F/F, Romance, The 100 Femslash, lexa - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2015-04-23
Packaged: 2018-03-22 23:57:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3747943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mirisan85/pseuds/Mirisan85
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after 2X14, this is my version after the episode. I hope to heal some broken hearts! :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This is my first fic! I hope you enjoy it! It's a translation from my spanish fic with the same title (¿Qué deseas?), so sorry if my grammar it's not good. I want to say thanks to Becca who corrected my grammar mistakes so well! Thank you again! The story will have 2 chapters. Sorry if you are expecting more, but I have more ideas for another fic, so if you like my fic please comment because it motivates me!
> 
> Well I hope you like it. Reviews are mooooore than welcome! Please comment! :)

The music from the drums and horns could be heard all over the village, joined with the chants and the laughs of joy. The moon was shinning in all its glory accompaning them with their celebration. The smell of firewood from the bonefire bathed the atmosphere and it made it completely warm. Grounders and sky people were celebrating together, blended, teaching one another. Three nights ago their attack on Mount Weather had been a success and all the prisoners had been realesed. The two previous days were dedicated to honor and bury those who had fallen in battle, grounders and sky people as equals, but tonight, was a celebration night, celebrate the victory and the fact of being alive. Everyone seemed to be having a great time, except for the two leaders. Lexa was sitting by a campfire, with a serious and vigilant look, watching the happiness of the rest. Now and then she occasionally sipped her metal cup which had some kind of alcoholic beverage and exchanged a few words with Indra, sitting next to her.

Clarke was sitting at the other end of the campfire, watching her friends drinking, dancing and laughing, finally free. She thought that having her friends back would be enough, with that she would have her happiness back, but deep down she still had that feeling of emptyness, something lost that made her feel incomplete. The memory of Lexa's lips joining hers spung to her mind. They were much more softer than she expected, like the kiss that Lexa had given her. It was soft, warm and comforting but also passionate. Initially, Clarke had been carried away by the moment, but when she realized what she was doing she panicked and rejected Lexa saying "I'm not ready, not yet". How could she be ready if she still felt that emptiness inside? Was that emptiness caused by the absence of Finn? Clarke sighed, the memories about Finn and the kiss she shared with Lexa were tormenting her, her mind was blurry and couldn't see with clarity.

The one thing that she had noticed since the kiss, Lexa had been avoiding her and that was hurting Clarke as well. She cared about the Commander, no, not only the Commander, also Lexa, the girl with green eyes, eyes that only sporadicaly and for a second showed that she also felt, that she also suffered. Clarke noticed that on more than one ocassion and three days ago she reproached it to her, just right before the warrior trusted her showing her vulnerability by showing her real feelings. Since then, the only thing that Clarke had seen in those eyes was coldness and control. When she focused her gaze to where Lexa was, Clarke saw that she wasn't in her spot. She looked for her and saw her entering her tent. Without knowing why, Clarke went in after her.

The tents didn't have doors, so Clarke entered in abruptly. She just stood when she saw Lexa lying in her bed, eyes closed, rubbing her temple as a sigh escaped from her lips. When the warrior heard noises in the entrance, she straightened up right away and grabbed the knife that was keeped under her peels as a protection. When she saw that it was Clarke her hand relaxed, but her gaze remained like ice. Clarke insides twisted for it.

"Entering the Commander's tent without having been summoned...? Have you learnt nothing about our rules yet?" her words were like poison.

"I'm sorry, I didn't meant to upset you" Clarke finally reacted raising her hands.

"What do you wish, Clarke of the sky people? She asked with the same voice.

"I..." the words seemed to be stuck in her mouth. That's right Clarke, what are you doing here? why did you follow her? The words echoed in her mind. She watched the green ruthless eyes that were looking at her for several moments. That ruthness tranformed her sadness into anger. Nobody had the right to look at her like that, not to her, leader and warrior of the sky people. Her gaze became harsh. "You've been avoiding me for three days. You can't ignore the leader of the people which you have an alliance with" she finally said fiercely.

Lexa's gaze softened for a few moments, but then it returned.

"I haven't been avoiding you... there were a lot of preparations to deal with after war... besides" she rose from her bed and started to walk towards Clarke, slowly. She stopped when she was a few steps away from the blonde. "I am the Commander , the union between the twelve clans, I can do whatever I want" her eyes sparkled after that sentence.

Clarke could watch the fire in her eyes, a fire that she had not seen in days, at least three days. She decided to keep teasing her.

"You maybe the Commander but I'm the leader of the Sky people. I deserve respect" she gave a step towards Lexa too "You can't treat another leader like that to, you can't treat me like that" she added with pride.

Lexa almost smiled for the boldness of the sky princess. She stared at her for several long minutes, studying her features, her proud look. They were so alike, too much alike. After few moments, she remembered Clarke's rejection after she opened up her heart to her. She tried to calm down and sighed.

"Get out" she finally said.

"What?" The blonde couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"I said get out" she repeated pronouncing the words with fury.

"No" shouted Clarke.

"Get out! Now! Shouted the Commander pointing to the exit with her finger.

" No! You have to give me an answer" she got even closer to Lexa, only a few inches from her, looking at her with resolution and conviction.

"I've already given you an answer" she turned around to put some space between them.

"I don't believe you" the sky girl grabbed Lexa's wrist to stop her.

In that exact moment something broke inside Lexa. All her strength, all her ruthlessness, all her indifference, they all fell apart again. Why? Why her? Why did she get to knock down the walls that I built? Her expression changed to sadness, almost with tears on the edge of her eyes. No, I won't allow it. She gently moved her wrist away from Clarke's hand. Clarke studied the expression on Lexa's face, her eyes. All together were a combination of feelings. She could see the sadness, the fear, the tiredness, and above all the vulnerability. She couldn't help it, she grabbed Lexa again embracing her in a tight hug, surrounding her waist. At first, the Commander tried to release herself from the body that was surrounding her, but noticing that Clarke wasn't going to let her go, she stopped fighting, sank her head in Clarke's neck and finally started to cry. Lexa's body shivered by the sobbing, stuck to Clarke's body. She could feel the warm blonde, her hands caressing Lexa's back, the words of comfort that Clarke was saying.

"Ssshhh... it's ok Commander... it's ok Lexa, you're safe here, you can trust me.

Hearing those words, her name, brought Lexa back to earth and she finally could put a little distance between their bodies. She breathed deeply to calm herself down and took the courage to look into those blue eyes that were staring at her after the sign of weakness that she had just shown. She had sworn to herself that after Costia she would never do it again, but she had failed. She cursed the sky girl for it.

"What do you want, Clarke of the sky people?" finally giving up Lexa asked with a defeated voice.

"You" Clarke caught herself by sorprise.

In that same instance Clarke realized that it was the truth, she wanted her, wanted to comafort her, dry her tears, but she also wanted to kiss her, hug her, touch her entire body. Lexa's eyes showed surprise and she froze starring at the woman that was in front of her.

"I want you, Lexa" the smaller girl said again as she approached the body that she now craved.

She put her hands on the Commander's cheeks and reduced the space that was still between them. Clarke gently placed her lips on Lexa's, very slow. First, there was no response, but after a few moments she felt the brunette's lips responding to hers.

At first Lexa couldn't believe what she just heard, not even after Clarke repeated it again. Her mind even tried to fight for a few moments when she felt Clarke's lips on hers. Love is weakness, she repeated herself, but she didn't have enough strengh to fight something like this, for to know if she was doing the right thing or the wrong thing. A bolt struke all her body and she knew that no matter what, she had lost her fight against the sky girl.

When Clarke noticed that the brunette was finally responding, she grabbed her neck to bring her closer and make the kiss deeper. She felt Lexa's hands resting on her waist and then on her back, seizeing her, holding onto her. The hit from the kiss increased in seconds, Clarke's tongue caressing Lexa's lower lip and right after that the two tongues collided. The commander groaned, which raised the fire even more that was burning inside Clarke and she drove her to the bed. They both stumbled over the bed with Lexa on top of Clarke. They keep kissing, untieing all the passion that they had been contained until that moment. They touched and caressed every inch of each other that they could. For a brief moment, the commander broke the kiss, getting back a little of sense.

"Clarke, are you sure that..." she was cut off by the blonde's lips.

"Do you want me?" Clarke asked her when she broke the kiss this time.

"You know I do"a solemnly statement. There was no point of denying it as they were in this situation.

"Well then... please, let me have you... let us have this moment..." the plea in Clarke's eyes, but also passion.

The commander, the warrior, the ruthless, the scheming, the rational, all her parts yielded completaly to Clarke's plea. There was left only the woman, the one who suffered, but at the same time the one who wanted and longed, the one who followed her feeling and not her sense. Once more, Lexa saw herself lost in Clarke's lips and body, responding her plea. The brunette started to undress her slowly, first the tattered broken black shirt that Clarke was wearing, while kissing and caressing softly with the tip of her fingers every bit of skin that she was uncovering. She kissed and bit her neck, thus causing soft moans to come out from Clarke's lips, driving Lexa more and more crazy. Meanwhile, the blonde had gotten one hand under the commander's clothing, caressing with hunger and passion Lexa's back while her other hand was clinging to the commander's neck. Finally, Clarke decided to take Lexa's shirt off, caressing and watching every inch, every scar from the warrior's uncovered skin. So young, and so many battles and war lived, so much cruelty. She couldn't help herself to watch the woman infront of her with admiration for several moments. Then she kissed her again, with more passion than before. They both kissed and touched each other, delighting, lips, necks, collar bones, breasts, there was no inch without being explored until Lexa went down for Clarke's pants. Her breathing became laboured as the brunette was pulling down her pants while touching her. It became even more laboured when she felt Lexa's slight fingers caressing her inner thigh, delivering promises about what was coming. A moan scaped from her mouth when she felt Lexa, without pants now, placing her crotch on top of hers, feeling her heat, her wetness. Then Lexa captured her lips again in a passionate kiss. Both were drunk by the passion that was consuming them, their bodies boiled, burned and vibrated ,one under the other. They touched, tasted and possessed each other until exhaustion.

The sunlight was filtering between the tent's seams and now and then the birds were singing melodically. Clarke opened her eyes and found herself surrounded by Lexa's warm and powerfull arms. The memory about last night struke her mind and she could't help but smile. She touched the brunette's arm slowly, amazed again by the softness of Lexa's skin. She closed her eyes again and squeezed herself closer to the commander, a smile still on her mouth. Right there she realized; she felt whole, happy. The emptiness that she was feelingt until last night, that scared her so much and filled her head with doubts was gone. She had had emptiness inside yes, but now she realized that it was the emptiness of not being with the person that completed her, Lexa. Without even noticing, she fell asleep again thanks to the other woman's warmth and softness that was laying next to her.

After a while, Lexa woke up noticing a slight body between her arms, blonde waves invaded her vision. She couldn't help but smell Clarke's air. It smelled like forest and grass. Just for one second, she smiles, squeezing gently Clarke's body close to hers, remembering. Then, quoted Clarke's sentences. I want you. Do you want me? Let us have this moment. Clarke was talking about desire, about the moment, she wasn't talking about love or about the future. Pain and disappointment filled the commander's body. She had been weak again, she had been carried away by her feelings, and once again what she felt was pain. She moved away stealthily from the blonde, she didn't want to awaken her, she couldn't confront her right now. She reached for her clothes and began to dress, with only one thought in her mind: love is weakness, weakness is defeat. Nobody, never again, will get to defeat me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well here it is the last chapter of my miniversion after 2x14.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope all you like it! Thank for the kudos and bookmars!!
> 
> Please, comment!!

The nights on alert and vigilance worked well for Clarke’s reflexes because when she noticed a slight movement in front of her she woke up. She saw Lexa’s back, she was getting dress.

“Lexa? But… where are you going?” she asked puzzled.

“There’re still plenty of matters to attend and supplies to get, now that your people are here too.” she said coldly without looking at her. She was just putting her war armor. “Besides, there’re still alliances with others people that need to be discussed.”

“You’re… you’re leaving?” Clarke had trouble reacting.

“You can rest here all you need for now, I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I’ll immediately ask for your tent to be installed where are the tents of your people, so you will be able to sleep there tonight” she finished tying her armor and she straightned herself up, she hadn’t looked at the woman who was lying in her bed only covered with the furs yet.

Clarke was speechless, staring at Lexa’s rigid posture, even if she was only watching her back, she could feel the coldness that the commander exuded. She understood nothing. Where was the passionate and warm woman from last night? Lexan finally allowed her to see her. Why was she hiding again? Love is weakness, the words echoed in Clarke’s mind. Was that the reason? Had Lexa finally decided to give up love, to give up living instead of surviving because she wanted to keep being the ruthless warrior?

“Lexa… look at me.” she asked hoping to see in her eyes at least some trace of the woman from last night.

The commander took several moments to obey the sky girl’s plea, and when she did it, two emeralds, cold like ice, gazed at her.

“If that is what you wish for, so be it” she tried to hide the pain and the deception in those words with all her will “commander” she finally said.

The brunette turned around and left the tent with exceptional speed.

Clarke woke up and started to get dress quickly. Meanwhile she was listening to the orders that the commander was yelling at her men. When she came out, she saw Lexa surrounded by her trustworthy men as she was talking towards them with a harsh and direct voice. A couple of them slightly bow their heads before going to the tent, which was next to Lexa’s. Indra and Octavia were still there, listening to the commander while she was still giving orders. Octavia peeked at the blonde leader leaving the commander’s tent and looking with pain at the two warriors as they were dismantling her tent. Though she focused immediately on the commander’s orders. Five warriors showed up riding horses, which were carrying bags which seemed to be weapons and food for a long trip. The last one was bringing the commander’s horse by its reins. When he was next to Lexa, the warrior bowed his head and Lexa mounted the animal with all her majesty. For a moment, she stared at Clarke, and quickly turned around with her horse as the six riders disappeared into the woods.

Indra gave to Octavia a few orders and then disappeared. The blonde wanted to approach her friend, but instead she kept standing there, without knowing very well what to do; yell to the grounders to leave her tent alone, start running so she could cry or ask Octavia what was going on. The braid haired girl saw the uncertainty of her leader, so she decided to approach her.

“Did you spent the night in Lexa’s tent?” she asked directly.

“Good morning to you too, Octavia” the blonde answered ironically.

“Oh, come on Clarke, everybody saw how you two disappeared at the party” Octavia changed her weight from one foot to another “and you came out from her tent a little after the commander starts to give orders more aggressively than usual. What happened between you two?” she questioned in a low voice, grabbing gently on Clarke’s arm.

“Nothing Octavia! Absolutely nothing! Ok?” the leader shouted out angrily. After that, she took a breath to calm herself down when she saw a few grounders looking at them. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you. I was coming out from her tent because she summoned me, it seemed that supplies were needed. 

“…” the young warrior starred at her a few moments, not believing her. “Yes, Lexa has sent an expedition in order to search for rations and go hunting, meanwhile she and some of her warriors have gone to the next villages to calm them down and explain to them the alliance with you, I mean, with u…” she got interrupted.

“It’s ok, don’t worry” Clarke smiled briefly, without joy in her eyes though. “I know you feel more grounder than part of us, sometimes I’ve also felt the same, but remember, no matter what, you’ll be always part of our people” she turned around and started to walk towards her friends’ tents.

When she arrived at the sky people’s camp, nobody was awake, it was clear that last night’s party has affected them more than the grounders. The sky leader walked to Bellamy’s tent and darted into it. She picked up two metal glasses that were on a little table and started to knock them right over his head. He woke up startled, with a disoriented look. He calmed down when he saw Clarke next to him.

“Jesus Clarke, you scared the hell out of me” he said trying to fix his messy hair from the sleep.

“Prepare the others, we’re going hunting” she replied categorically.

“What?” the dark haired boy was stunned.

“I said that we are going hunting. We know how, we’re not useless, we’re not letting the grounders to provide for us” she spun around and disappeared from the tent.

It took almost three hours for Bellamy to wake the others up and ensure them to be ready for the expedition. Jasper, Monty and eight more were the chosen ones to go hunting.

Clarke was in her new rebuilt tent, grabbing a few weapons and a gun in case it was necessary. She was wearing something like a grounder armor to protect herself better. She needed to run through the forest, to chase some prey, to make herself worthy, to get out the anger, but above all, she needed to stop thinking about Lexa. Lexa, Lexa, Lexa, it was the only thing that her mind was saying over and over again. She groaned in frustration. The commander had made a decision, it was time to move on… even if the feeling of emptiness was there again. She had lived with it before, she could do it again. This time was different though, now she knew how the commander, the woman, tasted. She had engraved in her skin Lexa’s caresses and kisses, and unlucky for her, it was something that was engraved with fire. She sat down in her bed and sighed. It was clear that she needed a good distraction and she knew that the hunt would help her. Suddenly, somebody barged into her tent, taking her away from her thoughts.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Octavia asked with a skeptical look.

“We are going hunting” claimed the sky leader.

“But, there’s no need, besides, Lexa has ordered for you to stay in the village, the alliances are not established yet, it can be dangerous” the braid haired girl tried to explain. Her eyes were wearing grounder painting, but they expressed sky people concern.

“Lexa is not the commander of my people, I am!” the blonde yelled full of rage. “So, move out of my way” she finished.

“Clarke, please…” She put her hand on the other girl’s shoulder to calm her down.

“…” the leader sighed and softened her facial expression. “Don’t worry, please” she said more relaxed “Besides, Bellamy is coming with us, everything is going to be alright."

“If you all are going, I’m going.”

“You can’t Octavia, Indra needs you as her second, and you must protect the village while Lexa… the commander is gone” the bitterness in her voice was palpable.

“Clarke…” Octavia made a move to approach her, but she finally stopped. If Clarke didn’t want to talk about it, she wasn’t going to be able to force her in any way. “It’s ok, but be careful, I’m sure that out there are dangers that we still don’t know” she got closed to Clarke and hugged her briefly.

The blonde nodded and the young warrior left the tent. Right after, she listened to Octavia exchanging a few words with somebody and immediately afterward Bellamy entered into her tent, announcing that they were ready to leave.  
**  
It was almost dusk, it had been two days since they departed and the sky group hadn’t returned yet meanwhile the grounder group had returned hours ago. The worry in the sky people’s camp was rising, and consequently in the grounder’s camp as well. In just a few days a lot of them started to get along and cooperate with each other. When the sun disappeared behind the mountain and the night and its inseparable stars took place, Octavia decided to organize a search group to look for the sky people. As the braid haired girl was giving orders to a group of warriors that had volunteered for the task, Lexa and her men arrived at camp. The first thing she noticed was the fuss and the agitation among the village, so she immediately got off from the horse and walked to Octavia.

“Heda” the ex sky warrior bowed her head slightly when the commander arrived.

“Octavia, what is going on? What is all this… movement?” she asked looking at Octavia and then her men.

“…”Octavia swallowed. She took a few seconds to answer. “I… I’m sorry heda, Clarke, my brother and some of the guys went to hunt after you left…” the commander’s eyes starred intensively at Octavia’s face. “I tried to stop her, I swear, but she didn’t want to listen to me” the sentence wasn’t even finished when Lexa was on her way to the horse again.

In that moment sounds started to come from the trees, the leaves moving. Whatever it was, it was getting close to the village pretty fast. Everybody was on guard, waiting for an attack at any moment when they started to hear laughter and singing just as the group appeared through the vegetation in the entrance of the village. Eight of them were carrying many rabbits and birds, except Clarke and Bellamy, they both had blood and mud spots on their faces and their clothes had cuts made by claws, but other than that, they seemed to be perfectly fine. Together, they were carrying some kind of beast almost as big as a Pauna. Octavia had learned from the books that it was like a tiger, but this tiger was bigger and it had long and pointy fangs coming from its lower jaw. When they noticed that everybody had serious faces they stopped singing abruptly. The commander, who was still mounted on her horse, starred with a hard look at those who were carrying the beast. Then, she quickly got off of the horse and walked towards them.

“You have disobeyed my orders” she said coldly looking at the other leader.

“We have disobeyed nothing” Clarke answered with the same look. “They are my people and they have obeyed who they had to obey”.

Lexa starred at Clarke with fury and clenched her jaw. And to think that I was about to go to look for her in the middle of the night all by myself, without stopping one second to think in nothing but in her being well, in protecting her, leaving my people behind, no matter what would happen to them or to me. Never again, I promised myself never again.

“You have disobeyed me, and that is an offense to me and to my people” Lexa looked like she was about to eat Clarke alive as a result of her rage.

“We are so sorry if we have offended you, commander” Bellamy stepped in “for that, accept all our hunting and the beast that Clarke hunted as a sign of gratitude and apology, please” he looked at Clarke for several moments and then he motioned for them to leave the animal in front of the commander’s feet. She gazed at the beast briefly.

“We both hunted it…” the blonde argued, astonished by the boy’s interruption.

Lexa starred at them, first one then the other. Two brave, capable, clever and strong warriors. It was undeniable that they could be a great couple. A wave of jealousy and pain invaded her, although she quickly pushed it aside.

“Offering accepted” those were her only words as she turned and walked towards her tent.

One by one, the rest of the village started to move, walking to their tents or continuing with their chores. As usual, skaigru and trigedakru mixed and talked to each other as the guys explained their adventure and about how Clarke and Bellamy had hunted the animal. Some of the grounders were even impressed by the story. Quickly, the story was spread around the village, and in no time, everybody knew how the two brave sky warriors had defeated the beast. After a while, the commander made Indra to summon Octavia. Once there, the commander, who was on her throne, questioned her about her history and her brother’s. The only thing that she said after the interrogation was that she and her brother were good warriors, then, she dismissed her as she asked her to summon Clarke.

“Did you summon me, commander?” the blonde said with a mocking tone as she entered once more into the tent without knocking. Lexa was sitting on her bed and she quickly stood up. She looked at her a few moments.

“You are lucky that your warrior, Bellamy, is clever and witty” it sounded almost like a threat.

“Why so?” the blonde wasn’t going to be easily intimidated.

“Your offenses towards me are just accumulating, Clarke of the sky people, and my patience has a limit” the commander finally threatened.

“You are offended because you want, commander, to remember that you and I are equals, you lead your people and I lead mine” she replied with pride.

“People that have been released thanks to me and my people. That eat and have a place to sleep thanks to me!” Lexa yelled with fury.

“Who do you think you are? I fought too. It was me who wanted the alliance in the first place, who thought about the plan. Thanks to me hundreds of grounders locked up and tortured by the mountain men are now free.” Clarke had started to walk towards Lexa while she was yelling at her with all her anger, anger contained for two days. “You accuse me of offending you, but it’s you who offends me again and again with your acts and rules.”

“Well, if you don’t like my rules, I think that your people and my people should go separate ways!”

“…” Clarke didn’t know what to answer.

“That’s the reason I summoned you” Lexa sat down on her bed and tried to calm herself down. Little by little, her cold and rational side appeared again. “I think that the best option is for you and your people to go back with the rest of the skaikru. This way, the arguments and offenses will be over. Two leaders that are allied can’t be confronting and humiliating to each other. That makes them weak in front of their people and I cannot allow it.” she finished.

Clarke was skeptical while her mind was trying to analyze what Lexa had just said. She wanted her out, out of her life, out of her heart, to be able to be the leader that she wanted to be. The emptiness that she had inside her got bigger, but it immediately became fury.

“You’re talking about mutual humiliation, but I have never humiliated you. I’ve challenged you or I’ve been in disagreement with you but I’ve never humiliated you the way you’ve humiliated me!”

“What do you mean?” the commander asked puzzled.

“It was you who walked away the next morning, leaving me alone in bed! Naked!” the sky exploded unable to contain herself anymore.

Two tears ran down her cheek, so before she started to cry completely, she left the tent as quickly as she could, leaving an open-mouthed and speechless Lexa. Clarke started to run to her tent when she bumped into Octavia. She saw that Clarke was about to crumble, so she looked at her with a “not here” face, grabbed her wrist and took her into the tent. Once safe, the young leader hugged her and she started to cry inconsolably. Octavia hugged her trying to comfort her and calm her down. When she finally could speak, Clarke explained to her everything that had happened with Lexa, since the kiss, going through the night two days ago, to the last discussion they just had. The young warrior listened to her in silence until she finished the story.

“Let me ask you something Clarke” she said gently while she was stroking the blonde’s hair. “Did you tell her at some point that you love her?”

“…” she remained silent for a few moments while she was wiping away the tears on her cheek “No… but… I took for granted that after the night that we spent together, you know… it would be implied…” she finally said.

“Oh Clarke” Octavia had to control her laugh when she saw how naïve her friend was. “If I’ve learnt something from Lincon it is that the grounders don’t have the same concept about relationships that we have. They are not accustomed to the games and hints Clarke. Lexa showed you how she felt about you, but you turned her down. You have to think that if you didn’t make yourself clear, she probably doesn’t know what the other night meant for you.

“But… she doesn’t love me Octavia… or if she does, she prefers to give that up in order to keep being who she has been, the ruthless leader."

“Are you sure about that? For what I’ve seen, Lexa loves you, but she thinks that she can’t have you, so she pushes you away…"

Clarke thought about everything that her friend just had told her, but still she couldn’t believe that the commander had changed just for her, that she truly loved her in such way, for even to be able to tear down her walls and her beliefs, those that she had worked so hard to build up. Finally, Clarke thanked her friend for everything she had explained to her, but still she had no hope that what Octavia had said was true. As gently as she could, she thanked her again and told her that she wanted to be alone, so she walked her to the door of her tent. When she opened the fabric, she saw Lexa a few feet away from her tent. For a second she could see in her eyes sadness and worry. Before leaving, Octavia winked at the blonde as a gesture of “I told you so”. Clarke stood in the doorway as the commander approached her. When she reached her, she grabbed the sky girl’s elbow and dragged her back into the tent. The blonde starred puzzled at the other girl for her actions.

“I’m sorry if the other day I made you feel humiliated…” she blurted. She was without her usual war paint, so Clarke could see that she was slightly blushed, although she quickly composed herself. “Hum” she cleared her throat as she released Clarke’s elbow. “I guess that at least you deserve an apology before you left.”

“No, Lexa, we are not going anywhere, I’m not going anywhere” she fixed her gaze defiantly.

“So, what do you want, Clarke of the sky people?” she asked with the same gaze.

In that moment Clarke remembered Octavia’s words. If they were true, this was her last chance to find out.

“Let me be clearer this time…” she started to say as she was getting close to Lexa. “What I want…” she took another step “what I love…” one last step “who I love… it’s you” she finally said only inches away from the brunette’s face. “I love you Lexa and love isn’t weakness, it is strength. You made me stronger and together we can be even stronger…"

In that exact moment all the walls that the commander had tried to build again fell apart like a house of cards. The look in her eyes thawed completely as she was watching the face and the blue eyes that were only inches from her. She grabbed Clarke’s neck and she merged with her in a fiery kiss. An unbridled passion took over them, but this time there was something else, there was the love that they were now aware existed, that had always been there, but until then they had failed to recognize it.

“Ai hod yu in*, Clarke” Lexa said when they broke the kiss briefly to catch some air with their foreheads touching.

They made love to each other again, with passion, desire but at the same time with tenderness. Their bodies melted again and their hearts beat as one, full again with what they had lost, but what they had found in each other arms. Maybe love was weakness out there and they couldn’t afford it, but together, they knew that they could be weak with each other.

*I love you

 

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End file.
